Facebook, I Wish I Knew How To Quit You


Facebook dislikeI’m not sure if it’s okay for a social media manager to say this, but I really don’t like Facebook. I would like to shut down my account and never grace a Facebook news feed again. Why?

1. My Facebook friends are mostly not my friends anymore.

I would say 20% of my Facebook friends are my friends. The others are people I went to high school with that I haven’t seen or spoken to in (mumble mumble) years. Former co-workers that I wasn’t terribly fond of when we worked together. My realtors. My hair salon person. Clients.

I miss when Facebook friends were about 20 people and they were really friends that I wanted to get updates from.

Instagram is to me now what Facebook was to me five years ago. Though Facebook now owns it, so I’m sure they’ll ruin it, too, momentarily.

2. Facebook makes me feel guilty.

Every time I try to purge my friends, I get this twang of guilt. Despite the fact that I’ve gone from 500+ back down to under 100, I still have these arguments with myself about whether or not I’ll hurt someone’s feelings with an unfollow. They comment on my posts, they like some of the things I say. Which is great. Here’s the thing. I don’t care about THEIR stuff. I’m a heartless person, possibly. But seriously, if I haven’t talked to you in (mumble mumble) years, I have no emotional attachment to you.

Or, when Facebook tells me its one of these folks’ birthdays. If I don’t say happy birthday on Facebook, I am a pariah. Or, when the birthday is that of a friend that has is no longer with us, and I feel sad for the reminder.

3. I have to tell Facebook the same things over and over.

Perhaps if I could somehow organize my newsfeed.

Oh wait, I can. But I have to do it over and over again.

I spent hours once telling Facebook who I wanted to see the most from and who I wanted to see less from. And yet, Facebook conveniently “forgets” with each update. My best friend has tried to tell Facebook what to show her and Facebook thinks she doesn’t want to see updates from me (her sister, too!) Either she’s lying about our bestie-ness for the last (mumble mumble) years, or Facebook is evil.

I also tell Facebook I don’t want my newsfeed littered with things my “friends” like. The “So and So liked this” picture of somebody’s kid that I don’t even know. Don’t care. Stop it, Facebook. I chose the “see less from” this person option, and mysteriously, that means to Facebook to show more from this person.

Didn’t we cover this in a previous culling? YES! Did Facebook totally ignore my preferences? YES!

4. Facebook knows more about me than the government. 

And continues to throw it in my face when they show me what I was doing on this day 5 years ago (which occasionally, is a reminder of something horrible, like my cat’s passing. Thanks a lot, Facebook.)

I can’t quit Facebook, though I desperately want to.

Why? Oh why can’t I just leave? There are a few reasons.

1. It took me five years to get my family on Facebook. I might as well give up on getting them to Instagram.

The only way I can share moments with my parents and my in-laws from 6 states away is on Facebook. And what I post on Instagram and Twitter is quite specific, so cross-posting isn’t generally an option.

2. My aforementioned best friend refuses other social platforms like the plague.

Even though she’s hidden my posts, I can still tag her directly with things I want her to see/comment on. I can also tag her in our photos, so she can share with her friends. One day, Facebook will again organically show her stuff from her bestie (I hope.)

3. Occasionally, I still want to brag about something cute the cat did, how awesome our new house is, or something of the sort, even to people I haven’t spoken to in (mumble mumble) years.

4. I work in social media. I have to understand the users I’m trying to engage with.

Perhaps, one day soon, I’ll be able to end my addiction. But for now, I will continue to suffer in not-so-silence, and continue to express my disdain for the channel, while hypocritically managing the channel for brands.

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